I've been taking some time to meet up and talk to some close friends
lately about where we are in our lives and what we think we're doing to
move closer towards where we would ideally like to be. Hearing myself
say some things out loud to another person and getting their thoughts
has been eye-opening. Listening to their efforts toward success has been
inspiring. I sometimes feel a bit embarrassed when I tell people for
the first time about my passion for voice acting (which is stupid, isn't
it?). It's feel a lot like confessing my secret love. As though it is
something that should just be whispered to a close confidant. I almost
creep myself out at how impatient and eager I am to go be an actor.
But
getting back on topic, I am so lucky that my friends truly support me,
listen to my woes, and offer advice. For the past year or so, I've been
thinking people were judging me for veering off course (for personal
reasons I don't expect others to understand. Not sure if I entirely do
either to be honest.) It's weird that it wasn't until a little while ago
that I finally realized... I'M THE ONE THINKING THESE THINGS! I'm
working myself into an anxiety frenzy... BY MYSELF! All the awful things
'people thought about me' were my own inventions. Everyone has their
own lives to worry about, why would they bother thinking about me? I've
been my own most frightening bully. I've been holding myself back,
afraid to move forward. I'm not great at what I do, but that shouldn't
stop me. If I don't respect myself, no one else will... right?
Once
I finally cracked down that barrier, I've tried to plan out how to best
maximize my free time and find a better balance to enjoy everything
that makes me happy. Since I've been in a actor's dry-spell, I'm
currently taking some VO classes while working out my game plan to get
to where I want to be. Hopefully if I can stay calm, ignore my negative
side, and keep my momentum going... I will be proudly reaping the fruits
of my labor thanks to the love and encouragement from those close and
dear to me.
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